about this piece

For reasons unknown to me for a long loooooooooooong time (but probably mostly because autism), certain parts of my body are not only really sensitive, but I feel certain emotions in them and require certain stimulation in those areas to not be uncomfortable or painful. An example is my shins, which experience an intense discomfort when I see people in physical pain.

Another is my arms, which need such frequent stimulation it's nearly constant, and so is one big reason I'm often wearing sleeves or a hoodie even when it's probably too hot for it. I also enjoy and need physical intimacy in the form of contact with my arms, such as having my skin stroked or being hugged around my arms. Lacking enough touch on my arms almost makes me feel like my skin is crawling or cramping or like I'm sore for no reason.

My forearms are also an area where I most frequently have the urge to inflict self harm (when I have the urge). When I'm overwhelmed or extremely upset, I feel as if my arms are itching or prickling, and like cutting or scratching them will bring release, both for my emotional state and for the physical sensation it causes.

So I had this idea that if I were to explain this to someone, it's that I have a lot of ghosts (you can see them appear in various places around the site), and one of the places they live is my arms. Sometimes they get antsy and act up and either need to be shut back inside their homes (hugged, squeezed, touched, etc) or I will have to let out (self harm).