about this piece

I got sterilized on March 24, 2021. That's it, finally, my capacity to make baby has been neutralized. I will never have to worry about unplanned children ever again. It was like a huge weight had been lifted that I didn't even realize I had been carrying literally all the time, everyday. Another unexpected benefit was that it was strangely gender affirming as a non-binary person. I never persued a transition other than social in the past, so I hadn't ever experienced that feeling exactly.

The specific procedure I had done is called a bilateral salpingectomy. It's different from your everyday tubal ligation sterilization, because instead of clipping or cutting or cauterizing or tying a loop around the tubes to cut them off, a bilateral salpingectomy removes the fallopian tubes completely. They leave the uterus and ovaries, if you're wondering, so no early menopause for me. I called it a bisalp because I'm in several F*cebook groups for people who are trying to get sterilized or who have been already, and that's the shorthand people tend to use.

I drew this a few weeks before the surgery, in a moment where I just couldn't stop thinking about it. I had never had ANY surgery before, and they were about to go and take out my guts. I didn't know if I would react badly to anesthesia, maybe I would die on the operating table, or wake up during surgery, who's to say? (Spoiler alert: it was totally fine, like the vast majority of surgeries.)

I did have one minor complication, which was urinary retention. It's probably less common than opioid constipation, but not exactly rare, it's apparently why the hospital often keeps you around until you've peed once after you wake up (which they didn't in my case, I had a very late surgery at like 8pm, so I didn't leave until like 10 or something). I actually didn't know about urinary retention as like, a thing to look out for, and I just happened to be looking through my paperwork which included some stuff to watch out for and saw "if you have difficulty urinating, seek medical attention immediately." It then occured to me that I hadn't peed since the day before and heck, I really had to pee!! It was a pretty scary and EXTREMELY uncomfortable experience, but not the most serious thing that could have happened. After having my bladder drained repeatedly over a few days, I finally agreed to be sent home with a catheter and pee bag, which I should have just done from the first time. This can be caused by the opioid drugs, but also by the anti-nausea patch of a drug called scopolamine I guess. I'm glad I didn't have nausea, but yikes. I also had some ondansetron which I LOVE for nausea, so I sort of had all my bases covered anyway.

Oh yeah, and the first time I went to get seen about it, the young doctor straight up gave me a hit of MORPHINE, going with the theory that the pain was making me afraid to pee and that if I were in less pain I would be able to relax. Except that opiates famously inhibit the exact muscles you need in order to defecate and urinate, which is partly why I couldn't pee to begin with. So instead of peeing I just got REALLY BLITZED before getting my pee drained with a catheter anyway. LOL. My mom was addicted to opiates including morphine for many years, and I'd had your run of the mill Vicoden or Codeine for pain management in the past which I never cared for, and heck, I've sipped on some of my codeine cough syrup at parties after I'd been sick because it's funsy. But intraveinous morphine was some other kind of wacky, man. I did not know it went that hard. It sure made the situation less unpleasant in a certain way because I got high as fuck, as one does when they get injected with morphine for the first time, but of course, it didn't actually help my situation. It also depressed me because it made me think of my mom, who became dependent on increasingly intense opioids because of pain (mis)management for a spine issue.

So like, if you ever have a surgery where you have urinary retention as a complication, get the take-home catheter, and don't try morphine, it won't help you and it's way too silly.